Whatever You Do, Don’t Outsource Your Happiness

by Thomas Oppong | Jul, 2021 | Medium

It pays to live life on your own terms. If you can’t, the one thing you shouldn’t make someone else’s responsibility is your own happiness. No single person should be responsible for your happiness.

If you are waiting for any member of your family or others to make you happy, you will be waiting for a very long time. And it’s a terrible way to live.

Don’t get me wrong — by all means, do more for those you care about. Make quality time for them but don’t make your happiness their responsibility.

Roy T. Bennett was right when he said, “Take responsibility of your own happiness; never put it in other people’s hands.”

Much of human misery stems from the need to be liked or accepted by others. Many people place less value on their own opinions of themselves than what others think of them.

They look to others to feel happiness. And waste a lot of time in the process. Think about it: all that time you spend expecting your spouse, parents or the people you love to make you happy, could have been spent on events and experiences that makes you come alive.

All the time you spend waiting for approval from someone to feel appreciated could have been spent doing what you enjoy.

No one knows what makes you happy better than you do

“Your heart. Your life. Your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone.” — Will Smith

When your entire lifestyle is based on what others think of you, you become a hostage. You stop living for yourself or doing what’s best for you.

90 percent of the time, people are busy trying to improve their own lives. That’s why you need to take your happiness into your own hands.

Unhappy people wait for something or someone to make them happy. Your happiness is your personal responsibility. It means finding better sources of happiness you can control — something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to.

It also means doing more of what makes you come alive. Making happiness an inside job also means not relying on external events and circumstances to find happiness.

Take 100% responsibility for your actions and reactions

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” — Jim Rohn

Many people spend both time and money on things to impress people they don’t even like hoping that they will perceive them differently. They aim to please instead of investing in experiences that’s best for them.

A life independent of what others think is the path to fulfilment. The opinions of others can create a mental trap. It makes you do what makes someone else happy.

In the end, you become miserable, especially if they hardly notice you. When you build a life without fear of disapproval, you do more for your happiness. You stop relying on external circumstances for a better life.

“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” Brian Tracy once said.

Living life on your own terms is the only way to a happy and meaningful life. You can easily make that happen by defining experiences, events and activities you love.

A few important life questions that can help you identify your sources of happiness

What do I really care about outside what people expect of me? Do I make decisions to please someone else? Do I value what others think of me more than what I think of myself? What do I look forward to every day?

You have one life — and you alone are responsible for it. You are in the driver’s seat. Take control. Take the best path in your interest. Stop looking out for external circumstances to find happiness. Be responsible for your actions and reactions in all areas of your life.

Mandy Hale said it beautifully, “Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.”

Key takeaway

No one can make you miserable without your mental permission. Happiness starts in your mind. The way you think can easily make you miserable. Doing more for your happiness is mentally liberating.

Once you accept to be responsible for your life and your happiness, you accept yourself. You begin to do more for your total well-being. You see the fullness of life instead of emptiness.

Happiness is what choose to do with your time — it’s not what you expect others to do for you. Happiness starts with a decision to live an authentic life. For a happy life, choose yourself.

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July 12, 2021 at 08:40AM